The time change this past weekend has me feeling like I’m dragging. Yesterday after work I was feeling really tired so I sat down with my book to read for a while.
And then the voice in my head started with the “I should” lecture. It goes something like this:
I should do the dishes
I should clean out the closet
I really should get that paperwork done
I should be painting, not reading
I should go out for a walk
I should be productive, not just sitting around
…and on it goes.
With all these “I should” thoughts comes a whole heck of a lot of guilt. When did our expectations as a society become so great? Messages that bombard us everyday say that I should (there it is again!) be able to work full-time, paint every day, keep my house spotless, volunteer in my community, be a gourmet cook, and be a candidate for the mom-of-the-year award. As much as I know that’s unrealistic I tend to expect that of myself. And I wonder why I’m tired!
I read something once that said you should replace “should” with “could” so it gives you a choice. I’ve tried that and it’s a little better, however there is still a steady stream of expectations in my head so it doesn’t change the volume any.
I’m working to shut down that voice in my head that tells me “I should”, or at least change the message so that I’m kinder to myself. I’ve decided it’s time to stop being my own worst critic and to consciously be positive about who I am and what I’m doing. Wish me luck!